Pain is a necessary and useful part of the body’s natural defense mechanisms. We often focus on the alteration of quality of life that pain brings, but imagine for a minute life without pain.
There is a rare genetic condition called Congenital Insensitivity to Pain. In this condition, infants are born with the absence of nociception (inability to feel pain). Because they do not have the usual feedback mechanism to guide behaviors, they will often cause significant damage to their little fingers from chewing, have injuries to the tongue and lips, and have recurrent undiagnosed ear infections. They are at risk of significant burns, and poorly healing broken bones. I remember seeing a little toddler with this condition during my residency and I will never forget it. Her little body was covered in wounds and bruises just from the typical life of a toddler.
Diabetes can lead to peripheral neuropathy, which causes decreased sensation to pain in the feet. Someone with normal pain perception feels a small rock in their shoe immediately and stops to remove it. Someone with advanced peripheral neuropathy cannot feel it and will walk all day with that rock in the shoe. This will lead to a wound, which then is poorly healing due to repeated use. If one doesn’t feel pain, one will not rest the wounded area. Advanced and extensive infection may occur, which is the reason for amputation in this population.
Our bodies were brilliantly engineered with pain signals to alert us that something is wrong, that a part of our bodies needs more attention, to get us to the emergency department, or to let us know that a certain part of our body needs to be rested or not used for a period of time.
So too is the benefit of emotional pain. The emotions of grief, sadness, shame, guilt, despair, and loneliness are all part of our human experience. They are there to help us and guide us. A common reaction to these emotions is to try to alleviate them as quickly as possible. Under-feeling leads to overconsumption. We do whatever we can to get a quick dopamine boost by reaching for food, alcohol, our phones for social media, or our wallets to shop. This can lead to far greater suffering over time, however. The pain will not go away, it is just ignored or covered up for awhile. And secondarily, we will have the suffering that overconsumption of food, alcohol, or household goods brings.
I would encourage you to acknowledge your emotional pain when it visits. Name the emotion, then gently ask yourself why it is there. What needs to be tended to and processed? What unfinished business do you have with yourself or someone in your life? Is your pain signaling that you need to take time to grieve? Is it suggesting that you may need more help in sorting something out by setting up an appointment with a therapist or doctor? Or maybe its simply telling you to pick up the phone and call someone.
Recognize your pain. Listen to it. Gently question why it is there. Then respond to what it is suggesting you do. Be grateful for your pain. It is there to be your smoke signal, to help you slow down and heal, and to protect you from greater suffering.
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