Tomorrow is election day in the US. I saw a meme yesterday saying it feels like the whole country is waiting on biopsy results. I feel that. This post is for all of us when going through isolated circumstances associated with acute anxiety. For those with daily ongoing anxiety that limits functioning, therapy and medication can be life changing. I urge you to do some research regarding providers in your area, or speak with your primary care physician. Here are some tips on dealing with acute periods of anxiety.
Name it. When overwhelmed with negative emotion, it helps to recognize it, name it, and identify the location of the sensation in your body. Say to yourself "this is anxiety. I can feel it in my shoulders. My breathing is more shallow." Give yourself permission to feel it, recognizing this as a normal human emotion/experience. Our tendency is to try to get rid of the feeling before we even properly identify it by buffering: eating, drinking alcohol, shopping, yelling etc. Feel it, normalize it, allow it.
Work backwards through the self coaching model. Recall that Circumstances in our lives occur (which are factual and neutral). We have thoughts about these circumstances. These thoughts are associated with feelings in our bodies. These feelings lead us to act or not act in certain ways. An action or set of actions leads to a result in our lives.
Using the election as our example currently, we place "Election" in the Circumstance line. It is a fact that the US is having an election tomorrow. Two main candidates are running. Then really try to identify a key thought that you are having about that fact. If you are like many people currently, you have some thoughts that are leading you to feel anxiety. When you feel anxiety, what do you do or not do? I will tell you that I become a bit paralyzed. I become less productive. I doom-scroll. I get quiet and withdraw. I don't take good care of myself. This combination of behaviors results in an overall decreased contribution from me.
C = Election
T = (Insert all of your fearful thoughts here)
F = Anxiety
A = Paralysis, withdraw, no self care, etc.
R = Not contributing to the desired outcome
Now instead, let's work backwards in our model. Remember, in an intentional thought model, the circumstance remains the same. The facts are the facts. But in this case, we start from the end. What overall result or outcome do you want? What result in your personal life, in light of this overall outcome, would make you feel the best looking back on? For example, you may have a desire for a certain candidate to win as the overall outcome. But the result you really need to focus on is what is in your realm of control, such as having made a contribution. So then, if we want a sense of having contributed, what clear-headed actions do we need to take? Examples would be voting, donating money, helping others vote, making phone calls, etc. What feeling would you ideally want to be feeling in order to do those things? Maybe motivated? Excited? What thought do you need to practice and repeat in order to generate a feeling of motivation or excitement? Get thoughtful and creative here. I know you can find one. A simple thought swap, to something equally believable to you, can result in a profound difference in your degree of productivity.
C = Election
T
F = Motivated
A =
R = A sense of contribution to your desired outcome
Remember your circle of control. https://positivepsychology.com/circles-of-influence/
Refer to the link. The center circle is your Circle of Control: this is what you can directly control. This means you: Your actions, your words, your thoughts, your feelings. The next larger circle is your Circle of Influence. This includes the people and organizations that you directly interface with. You can guide your children, be a role model at work, contribute your opinion to board meetings, and share your thoughts on social media. But be aware here, that you are not in any power to control others. We all influence each other. Recognize this as a responsibilitiy and honor, but also respect those in your sphere enough to not control them. The third circle is the Circle of Concern. This is where all of us spin out during times of acute anxiety. Election outcomes, biopsy results, acceptance or rejection letters, etc. When you are spinning in anxiety in the outer circle, take it straight back to the middle. Ask yourself "what can I control right now?"
Decrease your blood pressure and cortisol. All of the following are research-backed, evidence-based ways to decrease your stress response.
Get outside. Spending more time in nature has been shown to decrease blood pressure, cortisol, and adrenaline. Simply put down your phone and step outside. Look at the trees, listen to the wind in the leaves, get some natural sunlight.
Listen to music. Music, specifically slow and relaxing music, has been shown to decrease heart rate and blood pressure. Try classical music. Listen to the group Marconi Union. Their song "Weightless" was "proven to reduce stress by the British Academy of Sound Therapy" (Apple iTunes). I would argue whatever music brings you joy and relaxation is what you should listen to. Playing an instrument is even better.
Read a book. A 2009 study done at the University of Sussex in the UK showed that reading as little as six minutes at a time reduced stress levels by 68%! Reading decreases blood pressure, re-directs your focus, and has been found to be more effective than other forms of stress relief. Read something unrelated to what you are having anxiety about, preferably a book.
Pet an animal. Several studies have shown reduction in blood pressure when petting a dog. Looking directly into your dog's eyes has been shown to increase oxytocin (a hormone associated with bonding, trust, and altruism) by 300%!
Hug and snuggle your loved ones. Human connection and affectionate touch is associated with decreased blood pressure and cortisol, and increased oxytocin.
Practice radical self-cares. Get really selfish and focus extra on taking excellent care of yourself during these times of acute uncertainty and anxiety. Drink your water. Go for a walk. Eat a rainbow of fruits and vegetables. Get to bed early. Leave the phone out of the bedroom. Stretch. Maintain your routine. You will thank yourself later.
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