"Letting people be wrong about you or a situation while keeping your peace and focus is the most misunderstood power move you will ever make." Morgan Richard Oliver
Let people be wrong about you. Let them. It sounds so easy but can be very difficult to practice in real time. Each of us has our own opinions and reactions to other individuals. So recognize that each individual we encounter will have his/her own opinion and reaction of us. There is no way we can be universally liked, admired, or respected. There is no way that our behavior and actions will always be interpreted positively or even fairly, even with our best intentions. Remember this usually has almost nothing to do with what we are actually doing or saying. It is more a reflection of the other person's thought patterns, assumptions, background, and level of life satisfaction.
However, each of us has a visceral desire to correct people, to show them we are better than they think, our intentions are truer than they think, that we work harder and do more than they think. That WE ARE RIGHT! There is a difference between defending ourselves from injustice - which I am 100% in support of - and simply trying to correct or control the average daily things that other people get wrong about us. The truth is you can't control anyone else's opinion. If you find you are often trying to do this, you are going to make decisions and behave in ways that are not authentic to you. You will become more and more of a people pleaser. You will gradually start to lose your compass and contentment.
It is impossible to have your own goals and dreams and also conform to what everyone else wants you to be. In order to achieve your vision, you will have to say no, to try new things, to go against the grain, to put yourself out there, to risk embarrassment and failure, and just generally be a source of discussion for others. Let them. Let them discuss, gossip, judge, and in many ways get it wrong. And then let it also be a source of growth for you. Recognize how often you are tempted to gossip, criticize, or judge. Recognize how little we actually know of the people and situations we are weighing in on. So let them talk. You'll then find it is so much easier to let other people be who they are going to be. Without all that judgment in between, you can really start to connect.
Mel Robbins has a theory called the "Let Them Theory". This is in regards to all things your friends/family/peers say or do. Let them be and do what they'd like. Don't try to control it or have emotional anguish over it. Simply let them show you how they feel and who they are by how they speak to and of you and how they treat you. Then you can decide how you would like to treat them in return. Relationships built on grasping and clutching and controlling are not the relationships we want to have. They're not easy, not rewarding, and not long-lasting. So from the start, just let them. You will find your people faster this way. The world has nearly eight billion people. A survey done by the Pew Research Center in 2023 showed that the majority of Americans had between one and four close friends. Don't waste your precious time trying to appease the majority. Set yourself on a more efficient path of finding your few ride-or-die people.
So just stop it. Stop the outrage over what someone said about you, stop the stewing about what others might think, and live your authentic life. Live life from your values, your best intentions, your highest self. Live it for your own satisfaction and approval. Meet your own desired goals. When you do this, what others say or think starts to matter less and less. And when you continue to live in this way, you will create deeper connections with like-minded others who are on their own unique path to betterment.
留言