Weight Management

We all know what to do when it comes to eating well and exercising. Any magazine at a grocery store checkout will give us a protocol. And honestly any of them work. You can achieve a healthy weight with a keto diet and kickboxing, or with a vegan diet and yoga. There isn't one special formula or diet that is the ticket. In fact, you likely already know what foods make you feel better, and what makes you feel more sluggish. The problem isn't knowing WHAT to do, the problem is getting ourselves to do it. That's where life coaching techniques come in.

Most weight and exercise protocols coach on actions. Eat this, move in this way, drink this, etc. But in order to do those things and to do those things consistently, you must have thoughts and feelings that prime you for those actions to occur. If you refer back to my previous posts on the self coaching model, you will recall that there are circumstances in our lives. We have thoughts about those circumstances which lead to feelings in our bodies. Those feelings cause us to act or not act in certain ways. A series of actions leads to results in our lives. If we only focus on the action line of the model, and ignore the thoughts and feelings line, we will not be able to sustain any new behaviors.

So let's work backwards in the model. We know that for increased longevity and increased health markers, we should move our bodies 150 minutes per week. Let's place 5x30 min walks in the Action line of our model. What feeling would you want to be feeling in order to drive you out the door on those 5 walks? Perhaps motivated, determined, excited, grateful, hopeful, etc. Find the feeling that most resonates with you. Then ask yourself, what believable thought do I need to practice thinking to generate that feeling in my body? Perhaps "I enjoy a slow, quiet walk", or "I am so excited to put on my new shoes and hit the treadmill at the gym" or "I always feel so much better when I move" or "I will honor myself today by being courageous enough to do this". Really think about this. Get creative. What thought can you imagine, that is true for you, that causes you to feel a positive emotion that leads you to move your body?

A huge key in weight management is identifying and managing emotional eating. Whenever we eat for reasons other than hunger, it is for emotional reasons. Emotional reasons can also include celebration or joy. But just think about how often you eat something when you are not hungry. This can be secondary to boredom, stress, frustration, anger, anticipation, shame, guilt, people-pleasing etc. When we eat to avoid negative emotions, this is called buffering. Ask yourself before you eat, "am I hungry?" If so, then by all means eat. If not, become aware of the emotion that is causing you to have a desire for food. And then try instead to simply name and feel that emotion. "Oh, this is stress. I have 15 chart notes to finish and I'm already tired. What I think I need is 10 Hershey toffee nuggets. What I really need is to go home and finish these notes in the morning." Or, "this is sadness. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. I will sit with it and allow this feeling."

A useful tool in managing overeating is the hunger scale. You can make your scale any size you want, but you can think of being ravenously hungry as a -10 on the scale, a 0 being not hungry and not full, and a +10 being so stuffed you are physically miserable. You can decide at which point you are most comfortable waiting to eat. But make sure you are in the negative numbers before eating. Make sure you are actually feeling a sensation of hunger prior to eating. Then only eat to the mid pluses. Eat slowly and recognize when you are approaching fullness. Stop eating at that point. According to the Blue Zones, "People who live in Okinawa, Japan have a wise strategy when it comes to maintaining a healthy weight. They call it “hara hachi bu”, which means to stop eating when you are 80% full. Studies show that cutting back on calories can lead to better heart health, longevity, and weight loss."

Even on celebratory or holiday dinners, there is never a reason to eat to a +10. We can fall into a scarcity mindset trap where we think "this is so good, I won't have this again for a year, for awhile, maybe ever..." Then we eat way beyond the point of comfort. Trust me, I have learned this the long and hard way. I used to eat until I was completely stuffed and miserable. It has taken me years to get to a point of really enjoying my meal and not overeating. I remind myself there will always be more good food. There will always be another family gathering, another holiday, another day my mom makes cookies, another date night at my favorite restaurant. That way I can enjoy the meal, and then also enjoy the rest of the evening.

So in summary, take time to intentionally generate thoughts and feelings that will drive your actions. Only eat when you are actually hungry. Identify and allow negative emotions instead of avoiding them with food. Eat when you are in the negative on the hunger scale, and then only eat until you are in the low to mid pluses on the hunger scale. Remember there will always be more food, more treats, and more times of celebration.